Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Ashton Kutcher is an asshole

What do you feel is the biggest misconception about homosexuality?

That homosexuality is just about sex, which is so absurd. Homosexuality is not about sex, it's about bitchiness.

Anyway, if it is just about sex, then one cannot be a homosexual if one is not having any sex. If that's not true, then a lot of Trekkies out there are in for a big surprise. Makes you think about all those light saber sword fights, huh?

I think when people hear “homosexual,” they think anal sex. But when the same person hears “heterosexual,” they think Ashton Kutcher, which is so ironic because Ashton is an asshole. See the disconnect? People don’t think of homosexuals as people, they think of us as a deviant sex act, which wouldn’t bother me so much, except that I’d rather be thought of as an armpit fart.

It’s like sex is all these people can think about, when all I can think about is my livelihood, my paycheck and how much of it will be left over after the Kenneth Cole trunk show. I just want to tell these people to chill out, take a Xanax or something, jeez. I would like to say that my life is about anal sex, but the sad reality is, like most peope, I am just trying to get through my life, one day at a time, being totally unfamous, despite my Barbizon diploma.

Next: When I got Religion, I got a Lobotomy

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